Chapter 2 – Experiences

The type of emotional support a child receives in the first four years of life can impact their education, social life and romantic relationships up to 30 years later. Research shows that babies and toddlers raised in supportive and caring home environments are more likely to do better at school and attain higher degrees as an adult. They are also more likely to get along with others and feel satisfied in their romantic relationships.
Social skills are also an important predictor of future success, with one study showing that children who cooperate with other children without prompting, are helpful to others, understand their feelings and resolve problems on their own are more likely to earn a university degree and have a full-time job at age 25 than those with limited social skills.

The expectations you have in the early years of your child’s life can predict how successful they become in the future. For example, one study showed that children whose parents expected them to go to university were more likely to do well in exams. Where children think success comes from can also predict their future success.

If a child believes they are naturally smart, they may not put much effort into their studies or perform well in school. If they believe they aren’t likeable, they may not make friends easily. On the other hand, if they are praised for working hard and putting in lots of effort, they are more likely to thrive on challenge and see failure as a springboard for learning. This shows the language we use and the expectations we have for children often become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

According to research by Harvard Business School, children with working mothers enjoy a number of long-term benefits. The study found that daughters of working mothers are more likely to go to school longer, have a supervisory job and earn more money compared to children who are raised by stay-at-home mothers.

Sons of working mothers are also more likely to help with household chores and care for family members. This is a good example of positive role modelling, where the behaviours and beliefs of your parents are passed down to you and onto your children.

There is lots of research to suggest that too much television can have a negative effect on children’s behaviour, achievement and health. Children who are exposed to excessive amounts of television as a child appear to have more problems with learning and academic performance, as well as poorer health outcomes later in life. It has been linked to language delays, sleep problems, childhood obesity, behaviour problems and long-term effects on social development.

Many people say that television and videos are important tools for learning, but research to date does not support these claims. Instead, active play and hands-on parenting that nourish your child’s development are the best way to give your child the stimulation they need to learn and grow.

The relationship you have with your parents has a significant impact on your own parenting style. For example, you may try to recreate the positive experiences you had as a child, such as baking or splashing in puddles. Or you may do the opposite to what your own parents did, such as showing lots of affection to your child because your own parent did not.

In many cases, your beliefs and behaviours are passed onto your child without you realising. These may include your approach to discipline, sibling rivalry, gender roles in the family and more. The quality of the relationship between a father and child has also shown to impact a child’s interpersonal relationships later in life.