Guide To Parenting Styles 

Parenting is shaped by different values, beliefs, cultures, and a child’s unique needs. It is a unique experience for everyone. While no right or best parenting style exists, there are evidence-based techniques you can consider in your journey. This guide offers insight and examples into four common parenting styles or philosophies. 

These practices are flexible and are guidelines rather than rules for helping children develop confidence, independence, and emotional regulation skills essential for adulthood. 

What Is a Parenting Style

A parenting style is how parents choose to raise their children. It involves a set of attitudes, beliefs, practices, and emotions. Some parenting styles are more relaxed or assertive, while others combine both. 

4 Common Parenting Styles

Psychologist Diana Baumrind researched and identified four parenting styles — Authoritative, uninvolved or detached, permissive or indulgent, and authoritarian. While these styles are most commonly referenced, there is no absolute parenting method. It is also neither right nor wrong to follow one. Parenting is different for all families, cultures, and religions and requires understanding and respect. 

1. Authoritarian

Authoritarian parenting favours strict rules and involves obedience without questioning. Parents are demanding but not responsive and do not ask or tolerate feedback from their children. They may use strict disciplinary measures and have a high level of control. 

Children often get in trouble or punished without knowing why. Parents with this style do not often apologise and have an “adults are always right” approach.

• Rules: This style includes multiple rules which must be followed without discussion.
• Affection: Parents may be less warm and comforting towards children.
• Communication: This style often favours one-way communication. For example, when a child receives a low test score, a parent might respond, “You’re grounded! You need to study harder!” There is no discussion, and a child’s reasoning is often dismissed or disregarded. 
• Discipline: Punishment is typically the standard discipline method. 
• Outcome: Children may be well-behaved and follow instructions, but they can grow up with lower self-esteem, anxiety and fear of being punished.
  

2. Permissive or Indulgent 

The permissive style favours non-restrictive or “anything goes” parenting. It involves responsiveness, affection, and attention but few rules. Parents with this style prioritise free will over discipline and are often more concerned with being their child’s best friend than an authority figure. 

While this style is loving and warm, it can be harmful. These children have little control and guidance, so they do what they want without considering the consequences. Parents also justify or bail them out of their poor choices. 

• Rules: Parents set little to no rules and often do not enforce them. 
• Affection: Typically warm and nurturing.  
• Communication: For example, suppose a child receives a poor grade on their report. In that case, parents will discuss why this happened and justify their child’s response with “Grades aren’t that important anyway” or “Who needs education?” instead of offering helpful solutions and guidance. 
• Discipline: Parents avoid confrontation to gain favour with their children and typically let them do what they want. 
• Outcome: Children who grow up with this parenting style often have good self-esteem but have trouble following rules and may be impulsive.
  

3. Uninvolved or Detached 

Uninvolved or detached parents are distant, unresponsive, and undemanding. This style is also known as neglectful or a “hands-off” approach. Parents pay little attention to their children and offer minimal nurturing. They also have a few expectations and limitations. 

This parenting style can be conscious and unconscious. 

Some caregivers are indifferent to their children by nature, while others are neglectful because of circumstances like demanding work schedules, single parenting and mental health challenges. 

Children raised in this style are usually more resilient and independent because they’ve had to rely on themselves. However, they grow up with little guidance, support and healthy coping skills. 

• Rules: Parents set a few rules and offer little guidance. 
• Affection: Children receive little affection and are often ignored.
• Communication: Caregivers rarely speak or listen to their children and are often unaware of where they are or what’s happening in their lives. For example, a parent may be unaware of or not concerned with their child’s report card, school attendance, or performance.
• Discipline: Uninvolved parents are emotionally detached, offering little discipline, support and care. 
• Outcome: Children may be more self-sufficient but often seek out unhealthy coping mechanisms and role models.
  

4. Authoritative 

The authoritative style is a balanced parenting approach. It combines rules and flexibility, expectation and discussion. While parents are warm and understanding, they also clarify that they’re in charge. They instil rules and discipline but explain their reasons and invite debate and compromise. 

Children raised with this style feel confident communicating their opinions but know and respect that their parents are the decision-makers. 

Rules: Parents have rules, but explain why they’re in place and be flexible.

Affection: Parents are warm, close, loving, and nurturing and offer support and guidance.  

Communication: Open communication and discussion are welcome. For example, when a child gets low grades on a test, parents will ask why this happened and offer support, constructive solutions and guidance. They may say, “Let’s talk about what you’re struggling with and how we can improve it”. 

Discipline: Parents discipline to teach, not punish, and focus on helping their child learn from mistakes.

Outcome: Children can regulate their emotions and are more likely to be respectful, responsible and goal-oriented. 

How Does Culture Affect Parenting Styles?

Culture affects parenting style in various ways. It involves unique beliefs, values, norms, and traditions influencing parenting. For example, some cultures believe children learn best with strict discipline and others with independence, self-expression, and autonomy.

Which Style Is Right for You?

While experts believe that the authoritative style is an ideal approach, there is no right style or way of parenting. Children are unique and require varying discipline, attention and guidance. The best parenting style is one that works best for your child. It should mould them into responsible, kind, respectful, happy and successful adults. 

FAQs

Here are some answers to frequently asked questions about parenting styles.
 

• What is the most common parenting style in Australia? The authoritative style is most common in Australia. 
• What is the best parenting style? While the authoritative style is considered the most well-rounded, the best parenting style supports the good of your child. 

How the Reggio Approach Helps

The Reggio Emilia approach does not tell you how to parent — It reinforces positive parenting techniques to ensure the best outcomes for children. It encourages collaboration, self-expression, and curiosity and supports your child’s development in a nurturing and stimulating environment. Our framework considers and respects different cultures, beliefs, values, and religions. 

Learn more about our educational approach and enquire online to get started.